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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Poop.

Poop. We all do it. As runners we do it anywhere, anytime, nature calls and sometimes there is no stopping it.  If there happens to be a bathroom near by, great! If not...behind a random building? No prob. Between two dumpsters? If need be, covers the smell. Friends corn field? Would have used their bathroom if they had been home. In a shrub running through a subdivision? Let's just say...it's been done. I will go so far as to admit tearing out the lining of my shorts...I do have limits where I will go. I do have some sort of decency - if people are around I would rather get a new pair of shorts than drop trou' in public.

This has been on my mind lately. Anyone who has run with me for longer than 8 minutes or so is familiar with my issues. Believe me I have experimented with waiting to run, eating before the run, not eating before the run, coffee, no coffee, emptying the bowels before, taking Gu, not taking Gu, running in the middle of the day, the evening, whenever. Anything to shake up the routine.

sidenote: OH NO!!! I AM AT THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW AND THE PLANE JUST GOT HERE....IT IS THE UofO DUCKS PLANE!!! BAD LUCK....UGHH

Anyway, back to pooping. While I have never crapped myself in a race, I have seen it done and in an odd way admire the guts of the pooper. To be honest, I would rather quit than have poop running down my legs. Not to say I have not had to go during a race but my body just sort of somehow sucks it back up - why can't that happen during workouts or training runs? This past November I ran my first competitive half-marathon and was having one hell of a race when at mile 9 it hit me, first stop. At mile 11, next stop. And while I am one of the fastest crappers I know, you can only be so fast.

So, as the Eugene half-marathon approaches I anticipate it with excitement as well as a touch of horror. Hello Pepto Bismal - will you please be my friend on May 1st? My loyal running partner? Please appease my stomach and let me fly past all those damn Honey Buckets. Amen.

Have you got a poop story you are willing to share? Believe me, I probably have you trumped but it may make me feel a little better hearing yours. :)

6 comments:

  1. Interesting post!

    I've never had to poop during a run, maybe I'm just lucky? I also haven't done a lot of actual races either, so maybe more stressful situations would get to me. I've done plenty of peeing, but that's easy for a guy, I suppose.

    Go Ducks!

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  2. Few random thoughts here (you know I'm good at those).
    1. First of all, went and emptied out half-way through reading this...inspired me I guess.
    2. Glad I have a dog named "Pooper", now I can always think of you.
    3. Also, there was a news clip I saw the other day that said a mailman had been caught defecating between some houses in Portland last week.

    Fun post sis, have a great next few days! See ya Monday.

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  3. I love this post. I know exactly how you feel. I had a run the other day where I hit up 7 different port-a-potties (3 locked and 4 with no TP) before I found a starbucks. They had a sign that said the bathroom was for customers only, but fortunately they didn't enforce it. :/

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  4. First: GREAT post! It made my day.

    I have a story for you: I'm about 12 miles into an 18 mile run on a lovely fall morning, and I'm running with two friends. I can feel something bad brewing in my lower abdomen, so I make my friends stop at lower woodland in an attempt to, er, fix the situation. No dice. My body is fighting me. So, I continue running. The mild discomfort becomes cramping, then a stomach ache, and then a sense of urgency. By this time, We are running around Greenlake, and I know there is NO WAY I'm going to make it home. I also feel nauseous and extremely uncomfortable. No more running. I begged my friends to leave me behind as I hobbled off towards a bathroom. This is how bad it was: I kept having to stop, bend over, and clench my cheeks with all my might to prevent pooing myself. I BARELY made it. Afterwards, I finished my run solo, still feeling quite sick to my stomach. Lovely.

    In more recent training (I'm running Eugene full assuming my foot is cooperating), I've made it a point to poo apres my long run.

    My idea to help your poop problem: Perhaps see a food allergy clinic and/or scope out an anti-inflammatory diet?

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  5. Thanks for your awesome comments everybody!!! :) Happy to know I am not alone.

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  6. ha ha! I really didn't know that runners had such issues such as pooping while in a Marathon etc. A very candid post :)

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