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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Taking on yourself.

My last blog was about the impending end of a season. Well, the end of a season came sooner than I had planned or wanted. But as I have written before, when the body says no, we are should listen and heed otherwise it will MAKE us. Just when you think you have control, you are reminded that you have very little.

My body has been nagging me in the form of lower leg issues and pain in the left leg for about a month now. Nag, nag, nag. I tried all sorts of things: icing, heating, stretching, not stretching, massage, anti-inflammatory drugs, physical therapy. Alas, I have run through it one too many times and when I went out Tuesday to do my track workout I heard a firm NO from myself when I could hardly run a stride on the grass without intense, sharp pain.

Still, the "I never don't finish a workout, let alone stop!" reared it's ugly, large and nasty head at me and I was reduced to bitter tears when I answered back, "F-you! I can't do it." And so, I ran/limped back to my hotel room and pouted for awhile. All the similar ghosts came and I swatted at them and even let some of them envelope me. The, "you are a wuss", "look at you, quitter", "how bad did it really hurt?", "I could probably try to race", "you only ran 30 minutes, you QUIT your workout, what the hell?!" Yes, it all came and I let it - fighting meekly. And then, let it go because the alternative does no good.

Why is it we take stock of everything that is wrong before we can appreciate accomplishments, great moments, the goals realized and the dreams brought into reality. Personal records are forgotten, wins and near wins are trumped by 'that one race'.

I know that I will be back at it soon enough. Hamstrings heal, attitudes improve and the cycle begins again. But in the meantime...time to enjoy the rest. Even if it is forced.

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